*THE NOTE*

Alexa came home upset today about a note she had gotten from a friend. It was a mean note saying they couldn't be friends. The friend said she didn't know who the note was from and in the note it read that Alexa would have to figure it out. I think that's the worst part. Could you imagine being in that situation? Picture coming to your desk at work and finding an anonymous note saying "One person here thinks you are weird looking! Figure it out." For the rest of the day you would be analyzing everyone. Not fun at all. However, Alexa is a sharp cookie, so she quickly came to the conclusion that it was the girl that handed her the note. (Silly note-giver. Like she couldn't figure that one out!) This girl has written her other notes and I know the handwriting, so I can for sure confirm. (see below)

Now this is the part that's hard about being a parent. I never know what to say or how to handle these things. Do I quickly tell Alexa to drop her as a friend? or to ignore her? or to write her a note and some how politely say screw off? (how do you tell a young child that politly anyway?) Plus, I had to figure all this out on the fly. She was telling me the problem and I had to respond right then.
This is what I decided to do. I explained to her that no friend worth having would cause her pain on purpose all the time and only she could decide what that limit would be. If she was being hurt by this girl constantly, then she should move on and find one that would be her friend all the time and treat her well. Also to act like the bigger person, ignore the note and just play with someone else at recess. Oh, and not to blab to everyone else what this little girl had done, becuase it would only make her look like she wanted to focus on drama.
After our long discussion in the car, we were at the store and the most crazy thing happened. The girls mom was in line checking out! I didn't think I would call the mom and tell her the issue, but since she was there I decided to explain the situation. Of course you never, ever tell a kid anything you don't want repeated, because the first thing Alexa said was that "My mom said that she was probably doing it all for attention." Which is true and I told the mom that it's how I felt and explained to the mom that I told Alexa to move on for now from her daughter. Super awkward by the way. The mom said she would speak to her daughter that night and figure out what's going on.
Now for the rest of the day, I will be super eager to come home and find out what happened. This is ONLY 3rd grade too. I know there will be several more challenges to face in the years to come with both of my girls!
Please note: This little girl has a history of doing random acts of meaness like this. However, I never want to be quick to judge, because I think Alexa has the gift of bringing out the niceness in people. Other children known for being mean or controlling have actually been some of my favorite play dates to have over.

On a great side note, she also got a few wonderful notes. One little girl passed her a note with a best friend bracelet asking her to be her best friend. Then another little boy sent her this note: